Updated: Jun 22, 2021
Why do we constantly doubt ourselves? Why do we keep needing validation from others to assure ourselves that we are competent? Why is it that we feel we are not deserving of our accolades? Lack of confidence? Yes. What is it called? Imposter syndrome.
Every human thinks “Do I really deserve this?” from time to time.
This insecurity can cause one to shy away from opportunities. For example not raising your hand in class to answer or avoiding participation in activities in front of an audience such as singing, dancing or theatre, because of the fear of being wrong or not living up to people’s expectations.
Whether it’s someone who is highly accomplished or a normal person working a job, everyone doubts themselves. But when does this become a problem?
If everyone goes through this, it must not be a big deal right? Wrong. After constantly doubting one’s self, self-confidence and esteem dips. This might start causing a hindrance in daily activities. Along with not trying out new things, you start wavering in stuff that you usually do too.
Imposter syndrome is not always associated with depression or anxiety, but might start causing it if one does not become aware of what they are doing to themselves by constantly nagging themselves of being unworthy of something. Thinking you are not fit for a job or promotion, you might give it up, which you would later regret. You start trying to do everything perfectly to satisfy yourselves, which leads to perfectionism that again causes stress.
What might also cause stress is the fact that you think that you are the only one going through this. Which is absolutely untrue. You do not know what your peers are going through or what they have been through since no one is sharing anything. Thinking that you are all alone in a situation would further cause tension and pressure on you.
So what should one do? Talking about it to a friend or a professional, if you feel you require one, could be of immense help. Sharing your feelings would enable you to feel more secure and realize that others are also going through the same thoughts and emotions. You can also revisit positive feedback you have received to feel better about yourselves. Have open conversations with people you trust, this would make you feel more confident and know that you are talented and capable.
Most importantly never forget to feel good about yourself no matter what people say!